


Selfish

by captbuccaneer



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captbuccaneer/pseuds/captbuccaneer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's ridiculously glad that he's not blind anymore, the first time he kisses her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish

He's ridiculously glad that he's not blind anymore, the first time he kisses her.

It's about two weeks after he regained his sight, and the two of them are busy packing things up in her apartment.  All his possessions are already boxed and ready to ship out to the East, where they'll be spending their foreseeable future as they help to rebuild Ishval.

He stares unabashedly at her whenever he can, his faithful Lieutenant, as she bustles from room to room, stashing items into boxes and carefully labeling each box according to content.  She's beautiful, he's always known, but having faced a future in which he might never see her again, well... She catches him staring every single time, but simply smiles in response and continues about her tasks.

"See something you like, Colonel?"

Roy has the grace to flush.  

"Ah.  Sorry...Riza."  The name is slightly unfamiliar on his tongue, a word he hasn't used since his younger years, but he likes it a lot more than Lieutenant.  He's made it a point to call her by her name when it's just the two of them, after she told him about tricking Envy.

She's quicker to smile now, after everything, and he's struck breathless when she joins him in leaning against the counter.

"Don't be.  I imagine it's nice to see things again."

"Not...things.  You."

Her cheeks pink and she clears her throat.  "Colonel."

He loves her, has loved her for a long time, and he's sure she feels the same way about him.  They've been through too much together for him to feel any differently, but if more time is what she needs, he'll give it to her.  He'll give her anything she wants.

"Quite the mess, huh?

"Quite.  Thank you for helping me pack, by the way.  I - I, ah, I know I'm not 100% back to myself yet."  She unintentionally touches the side of her neck, where the Fuhrer candidate cut her open to bleed out.  The bandages came off a few days ago, but the scar is angry, red.  It draws Roy's eyes and he frowns.

They haven't talked about it yet, about the few minutes where he was sure she was going to die.  They haven't talked about how he ran to her and clutched her in his arms, or how his voice wobbled and broke as he begged her not to leave him.

He wants to tell her that those were the worst moments he'd ever gone through in his entire life, that he used to have nightmares of Ishval but now whenever he closes his eyes, all he sees is her bleeding out and dying.  But that would be stupidly selfish of him, adding yet another burden of sorrow to her shoulders, and he's been selfish enough with her anyways.  Instead, he says, "Anything for you."

Her cheeks go pink again, and she turns to him.  "Colonel."

"I mean it."

"I know you do," she says, humoring him.  "But you can stop treating me like an invalid.  I can take care of myself."

"Is that what you think this is?  Me treating you like you're incapable?"

The corners of her mouth tighten. "Isn't it?"

"What? No!"

"Really?"  She crosses her arms and faces him, head cocked.  "Let's see.  Ever since I've been released from the hospital, you've been at my apartment every night to cook me dinner, you've been on every walk with Hayate, you've been with me on every errand, you've hardly let me out of your si-!"  She breaks off mid-word.

Roy sees then, the dawning comprehension on her face, and turns away when he can't bear the look she gives him.  He shouldn't be surprised she's figured him out.

"Roy," she whispers.  "I-I...hey, look at me."  When he doesn't, she steps into his frame and takes his face into her hands.  " _Look at me, Roy_."

He raises his head and sees tears in her eyes.  The last time he saw her cry, it was over him - and suddenly he's furious at himself.

"I'm right here.  Look all you want," she says, in a tight, determined voice.  "I'm not going anywhere, ok?"

He raises his hand and brushes it gently over the scar on her neck.  "You almost did."

"But I didn't.  That has to count for something."  She smiles up at him through her tears.  "I'm ok.  And you're ok.  You don't need to worry that I'm going to disappear.  Into hell, remember?"

She's too close for his comfort, and his eyes go to her lips, pink and perfect, and he wonders what it'd be like to taste them, to taste her.  He's wondered, of course he has, and he remembers very clearly the day she said she'd follow him into hell, when they were younger but just as jaded.   _Selfish_ , his mind whispers to him,  but he can't bring himself to look away.

He feels her sharp intake of breath, and she snatches her hands away as if burned, backing up a step or two.  It's a tense moment of silence between the two of them, before he opens his mouth to say, "Riza --"

He never gets the next word out.

Her lips are on his, sweet and soft and light as a feather, cutting off anything he was going to say, but it's over entirely too soon when she breaks the kiss and steps back, eyes wide, her expression as shell-shocked as he expects his is.

"I, uh," she stammers, blushing scarlet, and it's the first time he's seen his Lieutenant so flustered.  "Um."

But Roy's decided it's not a time for words, so he takes her by the chin and pulls her back to him and seals his mouth over hers.  Like heaven, like coming home, like  _fire_ , she tastes better than anything he could've imagined and when she moans and clutches at the front of his shirt, he moves them so she's the one backed against the counter and he breaks the kiss to trail more along her jaw, a hand tangled in her hair at the back of her head.

He presses a kiss to the scar at her throat, the one that's there because of him and he feels a pang of sorrow, but then she tilts her head back and he sees a pale expanse of neck and suddenly he's ridiculously,  _selfishly_  glad he's able to see at all.

She recaptures his lips and hitches a leg around his hip, and he's perfectly pleased to be caught as she winds her arms around him.  She's warm lips and hot tongue and  _holy hell_ , she's a good kisser.  He'll lose himself entirely if he's not careful, but then again, he's never cared about that before, not with her.  She can have all of him, if she wants.

He kisses her until his lungs burn, until his lips are on fire, and when they break apart, she stares up at him with bright brown eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted, swollen lips.  He could stay here forever, wrapped around her, because Riza Hawkeye has utterly consumed him and he's never been happier about anything.

She presses a kiss to his chin.  "Are you going to keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"   _Like I love you?_

"Like you're a blind man seeing for the first time," she says, smiling slightly, and she's not far off.

"There's a reason why I wanted you and only you there when Marcoh healed me with that Philosopher's Stone of his."  He brushes some hair out of her face and kisses her eyelids.

"Hmm.  I wondered."  She makes a satisfied noise.  "So what does this mean for us?"

"Well...we'll go to Ishval, and we'll get to work rebuilding, and I'll be Colonel Mustang and you'll be Lieutenant Hawkeye," he says, and maybe it's selfish of him to ask this of her, to be his subordinate and his equal, "but at the end of the day, when we're at home where I can kiss you, we'll be Roy and Riza."

"I can live with that."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it! You can find me on tumblr at captbuccaneer


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